Skimming Deep

Searching, traveling, talking, reflecting, and exploring. Read along with me as I continue on my journey through life.

Tag: open

K is for “Kindred Spirits”

I first heard this phrase from “Anne of Green Gables,” my favorite book series of all time. I can read that series over and over and always feel heart-warmed and happy again.  Here’s a wonderful quote from the book:

Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.

It’s so true.

I’ve never been one that had one “best friend.”  I had really close friends but through the years, even starting when I was pretty young, I realized how hard it was to keep friends.  Each year, things changed.  Over summer vacation, things changed.  Friendships were always changing and unreliable.  One year, I was “best friends” with a girl, and then the next year, she found another friend or a guy and we lost touch.  So I guess in some ways, I’ve faced my own disappointments related to friends that make it hard to really depend on one person completely.

But I am lucky to now have many friends, different types, who are kindred spirits in so many different ways.

  • Really close friends from college whom I’ve known for almost two decades now!!  Friends I can count on to share my joys and sorrows.  Friends who’ve all moved on with their own lives and families but with whom I can pick right up when I see them, even after many years apart.
  • Friends, mentors, “family” (not blood-related) from when I first moved to Boston who have seen me through so many life challenges and successes.  They’re there to share meals with, to house me when I need a bed, to carpool when my car breaks down, to help me store things when I leave the country for a few months!
  • New friends from within the last few years whom I’ve met through work, through volunteering, through random connections.  Those are some of the kindred spirit connections that just clicked because of similar interests, senses of humor, love of food, and that je-ne-sais-quoi that makes kindred spirits so magical.  You don’t know what it is but you just fit together and enjoy each other’s company.

I like a lot of people.  I didn’t realize this until talking with my cousin this past weekend, and he asked if there was anyone that I didn’t like.  I had a hard time thinking of people I really didn’t like, and when I started to name people, I realized that these are just people who are selfish, self-absorbed, caught up in drama– people that I are generally not well-liked.  But I also realized that I generally like people or at least will think positively of them.  Is this part of my generally optimistic nature?  Do I just not care that much so I have a benign attitude toward people (not a strong feeling of “like” or “dislike”)?  I know I do like to be liked, so maybe I don’t really do things to have strong opinions about or from people.

I’m not always the best judge of character, so I might find a kindred-spirit-ness in someone quickly but then realize that maybe it wasn’t really a connection after all.  In those cases, I just fade away from that person and move on to other company.

Kindred spirit-ness isn’t always apparent right away.  Sometimes it develops over time as I get to know someone and realize how many connections we have.  These slow-developers can be a nice surprise.

I just had dinner with a new kindred spirit whom I met through work, and it was amazing to find out how many connections we had as we talked over a good meal.  Here’s a sampling of what we ate:

  Charred Spanish Sardines on Toasted Tomato Tartine with Mustard Greens and Garlic-Lemon Vinaigrette

Kindred spirits are so important to building up one’s own support network.  And it all comes back to being open to whatever comes and trusting that things happen for a reason.  Like with this person I met for dinner and found all these connections with– we met about a year ago through where I work, and we just chatted a few times.  We stayed in touch even after she was no longer associated with my workplace, and it wasn’t anything like a friendship, but more like an acquaintance that was nice to have.  After having dinner last night, though, I can imagine that I’ll stay in touch with her even after my travels because we had that kind of kindred spirit-ness.

I hope to meet many more kindred spirits in my travels.

J is for “Jinkies!”

Velma is a character from Scooby Doo, and she used to say, “jinkies” whenever she was surprised or had an epiphany.  I love that expression– it’s got a great sound and it’s so innocent and sweet sounding.

I had an epiphany yesterday that relates to my aspirations and goals.  I’ve been thinking all along that I really want a team of people to work with.  That comes from thinking of when I was happiest in my work, feeling most productive, feeling most useful, feeling most passionate about what I was doing.  And that’s been when I am working on something bigger than myself with others.  But one of the challenges with that is finding the team.

So I was having lunch with a friend and she was saying how she has taken on things herself– starting two small businesses– and that’s been the key.  She pushed her own ideas and vision and then has gathered people strategically around herself after getting those endeavors started.  But she is the main person.  She actually advised against working with partners or teams because then things get diluted and priorities are not always in sync among those involved.  For example, although you and another person might be on the same page when you start something, personal circumstances can change which then changes the page that people are on.  A person might get married, have kids, want to move, have a financial challenge, etc.  And so you and that person are no longer on the same page because of these external circumstances.

JINKIES!!

I’ve been feeling some pressure to find that “group” or team or even partner to pursue something with, but maybe that comes secondary to my idea, my passion, my vision.  Maybe, maybe not.  But at least it was food for thought.

It was another realization that it’s never all or nothing.  It’s about having vision and hopes and then being open to what might lead me closer to those.  Having a clear cut path never is the answer because we can’t predict what the future holds.  I just hope to remain open.

Another random thought about Velma– I kind of look like her/ she kind of looks like me– just a white version of me!

#15: Fire Hydrant

I walked by this fire hydrant today and thought it was kind of cute.  The bottom is raised above ground more than usual.  It had a friendly personality.  A bit of bright color on a grey day. And the rustiness adds a bit of character.

As the days go by and we move into mid-June (no longer just the beginning of June), I’m getting more anxious and nervous about my upcoming move.  Like the closing of a door, where I can see the light getting dimmer and dimmer as the door begins shutting.  I guess that’s the pessimistic way to look at it because at the same time, another door is starting to crack open.  But since the door cracking open is so much fainter and opening to who knows what, I can feel the imminence of the door shutting and the impending finality of that.  Scary and sad.  I’m going to miss people and places so much.  I know I am prone to homesickness, so I hope that doesn’t become the prevailing feeling I have once I arrive abroad.

#5: The Front Door

I have lived in many places since I left home after graduating from high school.  In college, I moved around each year, dorm to different dorm.  Toting my precious belongings which grew in volume each year.  Then after college, I lived abroad in Korea for seven months.  Living in a room in a small high rise apartment with a woman and her baby.  And from then on, I moved almost every year for several years.  Each year, accumulating more possessions, more books, more furniture, more kitchen items.  What once took a mini station wagon to move now would take a large moving truck several trips.

Front doors have changed from year to year.  Welcoming new experiences, shooing out bad vibes.  Friends have come through those doors, growing closer by the year.  And those friends and relationships have also grown, as my material possessions have grown.

As I prepare for my departure, I realize how much all these people mean to me and how much I mean to them.  Although it makes it more difficult to leave, it also makes me feel more the need for me to leave, to be able to breathe on my own, to send people on their own way for awhile, to gain back my life for me.

My front door is always open for the people I love, but I see this trip coming up as a way to close the front door for a time to recharge and replenish my energy and spirit.

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